Con limón y sal

This is a little overdue...I'm reporting back now that I'm on the other side of the first round of ICE. I'm ok, in fact, ever since about Monday I feel almost back to normal....which makes me just really super happy. I remember this feeling from last year when I was in treatment...it's a feeling that just makes you so happy you want to cry all the time and smile from ear to ear and celebrate every single second that you're not sick....and enjoy every second because you know the sick is coming back. Last week was pretty awful...just really terrible. I had underestimated the impact chemo was going to have on me...underestimated its persistent, tough fight, and overestimated my ability to fight back. Instead, and not the slightest bit slowed by my defense, it rolled over me and won round one. Everything thing went reasonably well in the hospital, there were a few problems, but the nice thing about being in the hospital is that they get on that stuff fast, and c...

Home and resting today after ICE. That's all for now. Thank you for your well wishes and hugs. En Casa Ya estoy en casa y descansando despues del tratamiento. Eso es todo por ahorita, luego cuento mas. Gracias por sus buen deseos y abrazos.

It's Ice, get it? Right? ICE...hilarious. The Plan So, after my appointment with the oncologist this morning, the following is the treatment plan for my recurrent Hodgkin's: 1. ICE Chemotherapy ICE stands for Ifosfamide, carboplatin, and etoposide, which are just a bunch of poisons that you can google at your leisure...but they basically cause all the same old side effects of chemo - nausea, vomitting, hair loss, fatigue, yuck, yuck, yuck. Plus, the Ifosfamide can cause bladder problems, so they keep you on lots of fluids to try to prevent or minimize that. This chemo will be administered over three days, during which I'll be staying in the hospital (Providence - new cancer center...holla). Then, I'll have some recovery - depending on how fast my blood counts recover to an acceptable level, this may be anywhere from 18-25 days. Then back to the hospital for 3 days for another round of ICE. According to Drs, we will probably only do two rounds of ICE, but will ha...

Update: On Thursday, we finished the embryo-freezing process…which, by the way, is a completely fascinating process - the science is amazing, and my fertility doctor, Dr. Matteri, is absolutely the best, my nurse clinician, Andrea Speck-Zulack, is amazingly supportive and knowledgeable and helpful, and their office, Oregon Reproductive Medicine, in conjunction with Fertile Hope (www.fertilehope.com) are helping make the whole thing more affordable, and therefore possible for me. Anyway, I thought I would post at least the short version of how it goes, since it’s so crazy and cool to me. They started out explaining everything, etc, etc, and checking with my oncologist to make sure it was ok to put treatment on hold for a month to get this done. Then, they did blood work on Luis and me, did an ultrasound (from the inside…never had that experience before…), and taught us how to administer the injections. Then, on day 2 of my cycle I started giving myself injections of Menopur and Repronex...

…and I wonder how many more there’ll be. I wonder how many more I’ll spend with cancer, and how many birthdays total I’ll get to celebrate. I wonder if I’ll finish this treatment, achieve the ever-illusive remission, and go on to bear my test-tube children and pay off debt for the next 60 years in familial bliss, or if it will just be my lot that this "good cancer" will screw me over again, and I’ll spend the next few years in treatments, experimental drug trials, cancer centers – complete with laundry facilities and spas, no less – only to ultimately lose the battle. I know you don’t want to hear that...I’m sure it sounds just as morbid to you as it does to me. I’m also sure that as you read this, many of you are thinking "No, think positively, this will just be a blip on the radar, you’re going to be fine." I know, I know. BUT even though it’s not socially acceptable, and nobody wants to hear about it, these thoughts come into my mind…and I don’t know what to ...

So, this is my blog...ever since I was first diagnosed with cancer last year people have been suggesting that I start a blog to post information on my health, vent, or whatever, and I have been resistant to do so. I think mostly because I just wanted to get through the whole cancer thing without it affecting my life forever, or without making a permanent record of it, or something like that. I realize now, however, after being diagnosed with a relapse...that this will undoubtedly affect me forever, and become a part of who I am, and I think that's ok now. The title of the blog is "con limón y sal"....a throw back to my life in Mexico for several reasons....1) In Mexico you put lime and salt on nearly everything you eat...salad, fruit, chips, tacos....and it's delicious and tart and very Mexican...2) If lime and salt get into a cut or a wound you might have (ie - first diagnosis, treatment, recovery) it hurts a lot...kinda like relapse does... 3) Julieta Venegas ha...